Rabbi's Blog

Erev Yom Kippur – 5785

“Let us proclaim the sacred power of this day; It is awesome and full of dread. For on this day, even the hosts of heaven are judged.” Wow, that prayer, which is read on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, gives us a sense of connection with everything. Of course, we, as Jews, are metaphorically judged on this day. But we also stand here with the hosts of Heaven. That's what the text says. And what I have always found interesting and somewhat contradictory is that Jewish tradition always distinguishes us from the angels.

Consider the following story: At the creation of humanity, God was finishing God's work and was about to breathe life into God's new creation. It is at that point that the angels cried out to God, “You have made a mistake! You made humanity almost exactly like us, except for one difference. O’ Great Sovereign, you charge us with one action or one purpose and we can only act on it. With humanity, you gave them the ability to choose. That is not fair!” God responds by saying, “While I made you as divine Heavenly beings, I made humanity in my image.” And throughout Jewish literature, the angels are always jealous of humanity because we can make decisions. We can choose.

When we think about a precious gift, we think about something that is special or unique. We think about something that is prized amongst all else. Some of us might have special pieces of memorabilia or heirlooms that have been passed down from one generation to the next. Others might have something that is only special to them and no one else. I want you to take those thoughts about a gift that is precious and I want you to apply that to the most special and amazing gift which God has given to all of us and only us: choice. We have the ability to determine our identities and our futures. We have the ability to make mistakes as well as make grand gestures. We have the ability to choose right or wrong. This is a special gift. A sacred gift. It is also, according to the midrash, that part of us that is God’s image. God can make decisions and so can we. This means that every choice is an opportunity to connect with the divine.

On this Kol Nidre evening, I ask each of us, are we squandering this gift? Are we making the right choices?

While the midrash explains that we were given this precious gift of choice as we were created, the Torah itself teaches us that “we chose to choose.” The creation story includes the creation of a tree of knowledge of good and bad. This is the same tree that God warns us not to eat from, though we can eat from any other fruit bearing tree. And we know how the story goes. We eat from the tree and we are exiled out of Eden. However, we gain the ability to know right from wrong. When we slow the story down, we realize that we made a choice to learn about right and wrong. So, while God gave us the ability to make choices before creation, from this early story, we learn that we now have the knowledge of good and bad. We not only have the precious gift of choice, but we now have the precious gift of knowledge and wisdom about these choices. It's fascinating to consider that from the beginnings of our creation, this amazing gift of choice is paramount to our existence. Making the right choices, according to the torah, means working with God to create a good, just, and sustainable world.

And then, as I do my own cheshbon hanefesh (a recounting of my soul), I thinking back on the decisions and the choices I've made with my friends as well as with my family, I have to admit that I have missed the mark at times. I have squandered this beautiful gift of choice. God has given me the ability to bring light and life at every moment of my existence, and there have been times that I chose not to bring light. Yom Kippur is our time to be honest. And so, on this sacred evening, we are charged to look back and ponder where we have fallen short, where we have missed the mark, especially with each other.

I believe we miss the mark in our choices not because we want to miss the mark. No, there are some extremely strong forces that try to keep us from hitting that bullseye. I feel that the strongest forces that cloud our judgment are anger, pain, and fear. Our choices also are affected by impatience, guilt, and disappointment. Especially this past year, many of us have been strongly affected by anxiety and despair. God planted within each one of us the ability to make sound and beautiful choices, choices that bring understanding and light into this world. At this hour, on Yom Kippur, when thinking about our family and our friends, it is incumbent upon each of us to ask ourselves, “Did we ever choose anger over forgiveness?  Did we ever choose our personal hurt feelings over compassion? Did we ever choose impatience over justice and helping those in need?”

Clearly, when we look at the world around us, collectively, we have not always made the right choices. But we are not alone. Consider our Torah portion for Yom Kippur. After we are given the ability to make good choices in the book of Genesis, we now come upon the following statement at the end of the Torah, in the book of Deuteronomy: You are standing on this day, all of you, and I place before you life and goodness and death and evil. Choose life and goodness so that you and your descendants may live. The implication of this text is that over the previous generations, we squandered our gift of choosing. In other words, we didn't always choose life and light.

Every year we are given this opportunity to do repentance. We are given the opportunity to look back and say, “I am sorry. I haven't always been at my best. The world or my job or my life, has really brought me down and I need help. I can do better.” That is what Yom Kippur is all about. It is recognizing that God gave us the ability to make good choices, and sometimes we miss the mark. Therefore, for us to celebrate this gift of choice, we must strive to change, do teshuvah, and make our lives better. And think for a moment, if each one of us here, everyone at Temple Beth Am, chose to make decisions not out of anger or fear, but out of compassion and understanding, think of the effect that would have outside of our walls.

I think Rabbi Alan Lew said it best, when he wrote, “This is the simplest and most frightening truth about all this business. Anger is a choice. Boredom is a choice. Fear is a choice. No one can hold a gun to our heads in this regard. No one can make us feel this feeling. No one can crawl inside us and alter us. We are responsible for the state of our own consciousness. The great drama of this [day] is the drama of choice. The power of choice is immense. We can choose to let go of anger, boredom, fear, guilt, impatience, grief, disappointment, dejection, anxiety, and despair, and we can make this choice moment by moment, …  and we can form a clear and continuous intention to let these feelings go.” And when we let these feelings go, we honor God, our gift giver.

According to our tradition, God made us quite similar to the angels in many ways. Yet one key difference between us and the angels is that God gave each of us free will and the ability to choose. God gave us this precious gift and it is that special divine thing that is within each of us. Let us strive not to squander our gift this coming 5785. I sincerely pray that we will choose understanding, love, and light as we interact with our families. I wholeheartedly pray that we will choose openness and compassion as we talk with our friends and workmates. I genuinely pray that we will choose empathy and love as we travel on our journeys in this world.

May it be God's will that we treasure this gift of choice in 5785 more than any other year. And may all of our choices lead us to shalom.

May it be God’s will, Amein